Go Vegan!

Happiness is not so much in having as sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give. -Norman MacEwan

Monday, December 19, 2011

moar txts

Me: resend sexy texts from this morning
A: I missed alot. I am sad now.
Me: Aww, kisses.
Me: There were other ones, and photos.. but you don't seem  very interested.
A: Oh no I am just busy and phone is being dumb
Me: I was just teasing. Although the past few times you have been here photos were neglected their due attention.
A: Yeah that is true I just didn't want to let you go one we laid down.
Me: smooth response. :P

Me: you're cute.
A: So are you

Friday, December 9, 2011

We are so lame/cute

Editor's note: New weapon pack for killing floor has come out. They have been out since Wed, I though they came out tomorrow. Damn my friend Geoff for visiting and distrancting me with food and geeky board games.

txts from just now
A: Try the new guns yet?
Me: No :(
A: Cuddles, sorry.
Me: I like you.
A: Like you too.
Me: I like that  you understood that my lack of testing new guns translates into needing cuddles.

Monday, December 5, 2011

More txts from tonight

A: My god sitting rocks
Me: sitting is good. ::kisses::
A: I cant stay sitting though too much to do. Kisses back
Me: Can there be kissing and standing?
A: Of course
Me: yay! :standsontiptoes:
A:kiss kiss
Me: kiss!
A: holds you by the small of your back

Saturday, December 3, 2011

txts from matty

Also A would probably lose his shit. And I have to live with him.
I seem to recall A crying while asking you out?
I doubt he is a fan of you sleeping with people that are not him. So he would probably be less than pleased if I helped you do that.
me: why'd he be mad at you? if it was such an issue.  regardless he said we were 'close friends' whatever that means
Because then he can be mad at me.
Yeah, if he cried about it. I don't think he'd like it. whatever he said .
Doesn't want to fuck me. Easy to be pissed at me.
Me: he said you were a pretty decent lay :P

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

request for reassurance

I like you. You know that. I was hoping to fix things between us when I moved down. i'm really glad that paned out.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Nerdy sex talk

I love that I can send random musing texts out, asking stuff like:

Can we just spend the day watching Scify and fucking?
And get this as a responce
Sure my flux capacitor is almost ready
You can fill in where the rest of this went

More txt convos: backlog

This came about after a conversation of some sorts.. sadly I didn't write it down so I've forgotten
me:Now, my boots need to be polished and alphabetized. Then, leg massage and if your lucky you can work your way up from there.
A: ;Yeah after i save (forget what game he was playing)
me: I'm glad you know your place.
A: Aparantly under you

Late night texts

After two phone calls, this was about midnight.

A:Imagin im there with you. Thats what i do every night

Monday, August 15, 2011

txt txt tx

A: How am I not naked and still teasing you? I'm going with Talent.
B: ::Shuns::
A: Loves
A: Nuzzle nuzzle kick
A: **Lick

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


Latest entry from the Steam chat logs
B_A_D: Can we watch star wars and make out?
Panzer Pope: sure
B_A_D: wee!

Friday, July 15, 2011

Nerd Hearts

Panzer Pope: how much fatuige do you get from useing it?
B_A_D: a bit
Panzer Pope: you had a toughness bonus of 4 right?
B_A_D: yes
Panzer Pope: well as long as you dont take 4 you dont pass out.
Panzer Pope: sorry welcome to me and games i put too much thought into it.
B_A_D: Don't appologize.
B_A_D: i like talking games with you :p
B_A_D: It's cute you obsess about stuff
B_A_D: :kisses:
Panzer Pope: aww you like that im a nerd.
Panzer Pope: kiss
B_A_D: *I mean cute in the manliest way possible*
Panzer Pope: haha

Friday, April 15, 2011


me: yeah i asked him to hold onto it for me, I was gonna buy it for you and matt (p.s. because i'm awesome and you <3 me cause i'm so nice and wicked)
master: thank you :)
Me: i think you forgot the part where you agree about how awesome I am
master: haha
Me: also you forgot please
Master; oh trust me you rock. Alot. sorry for not saying so
me: (you know I'm kiddin right?)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Panzer Pope: there it booted every one on my friends list too.
B_A_D: yeah
Panzer Pope: sorry but if you havent noticed by what i was saying i was refering to being intrested sexually as well. as i said befor i like all of you. i dont know if its comforting, but in the least theres one person out there. and i bet there are others that are just too shy to say so.
B_A_D: Then why doesn't anyone ever want me?
B_A_D: Callan wants to hold my hand.
B_A_D: Zac's ditching me.
B_A_D: you wanted alaurea na draven.
B_A_D: I've never been able to illict want or desire in someone.
B_A_D: I feel it for other people... a lot of people, even people I shouldn't.
Panzer Pope: I have always desired you. i dont express things in words well so i never realy have. and my actions dont speek well either. i have proven that i should not have multipul relations, and thats fine with me. i dont know why i choose alaurea, but in alot of ways i wish i didn't. all i know is that i desire you for you all of it. i just didnt relize how strongly till it was far too late. im sorry for hurting you soo much i just want to make you as happy as i can now.
B_A_D: but yet, it's raven who gets your blood pumping.
B_A_D: like amber gets zac hot
B_A_D: And random acrobat girls get callan
B_A_D: and eric wants raven
B_A_D: etc
Panzer Pope: hun you get it going alot more. im just too afraide to do anything.
B_A_D: dude 4 months of go time to do things.
B_A_D: you did raven.
B_A_D: 6 years before that, never realy into anything
B_A_D: except kinda a little that time with alaurea
B_A_D: and -she- involved me more than you did.
Panzer Pope: thats cause from past experiances whenever i get sexual with you i tend to freak you right out. and it bugs you for quite some time. i dont know where my boundries are, and i dont want to hurt you so i just do nothinf
B_A_D: So what about when we didn't have boundaries?
B_A_D: wide shoulders, big arms, no tits, tummy poof, hips, butt and jiggle fat thighs...
Panzer Pope: when we didn't i wasn't here and i had managed to fuck things up damn good befor i got a chance to test thouse boundries. remember the txting, i serisously wanted to do some of them
Panzer Pope: trust me you are not as bad as you think you are. no one realy wants t accept that there good enough. your thinking too much and making yourself belive that your unattractive, you are not unatractive at all. and anyone who thinks other wise is retarded
B_A_D: Well then why the hell can't i ever illicit the kind of desire people feel for raven, or you, or alaurea, or elis or anyone.
B_A_D: or amber.
B_A_D: Like seriously.... some guy who only texts me when he's kinda horny/masterbating met raven for like 10 seconds and asks about her......
Panzer Pope: if you ask me thats realy sketchy. but who am i to judge. i dont realy know how alot of people go about it. all i do is become friends with people then go from there if theres an intrest. i dont mean i do it spasificly to date/ be with someone but things esclate from there sometimes.
B_A_D: Nigel sits home alone.... all the time.... I can't get a response if i try.
B_A_D: I mean fuck, I've never even been called sexy or attractive or any of that lust shit from -you-.
B_A_D: And we have similar sex drives.
B_A_D: Callan, who's apprently in love with me, has dreams where he holds my hand -_-.
B_A_D: I walk down the street with anyone and there are people checking them out.
B_A_D: Whereas I get i.d. and people mistake me for a 12 year old.
Panzer Pope: iv never said alot of that realy to anyone. as i said i dont do words well. and holding hands is a big step for some people. everyone has diffrent ways of expressing there love be it by speech or actions.
B_A_D: I'm not talking love...
B_A_D: i'm talking desire.
B_A_D: No one wants to fuck me.
B_A_D: unless it's convient
B_A_D: or just there.
B_A_D: But there's no DESIRE.
B_A_D: everyone talks about these hot -need to have you moments-
B_A_D: i got none....
B_A_D: I might be the only girl in SJ you, andrew, drew, and koko haven't slept with.
Panzer Pope: how many people do you think iv slept with?
B_A_D: more than me ?
B_A_D: like 20 ? maybe ?
B_A_D: you are severly out slutted by andrew drew and koko
Panzer Pope: and trust me i want to sleep with you. but again im afraid of hurting you. and its not cause your are convineant or just there. i seriously want to be with you, and wake up with you. i dont know how to explaine desire i only know how to show it.
Panzer Pope: and its honnestly more like 10or 11 people
Panzer Pope: no 13
B_A_D: 13 not me people.
Panzer Pope: yeah i know.
B_A_D: I have not had a single partnership not end with me being ditched for someone else
B_A_D: someone hotter.
B_A_D: nigel ditched me for some one ONLINE.
B_A_D: I have to -try- to get people to have sex with me
B_A_D: or work them up to it, no one just wants to
Panzer Pope: I would like to ask you to give me a chance again, i want to show you that i wont ditch you for someone elce. cause as a partner i dont want anyone elce. but i know thats not going to happen. if i know your intrested and that i wont be hurting you by being there you would not have to work up anything. hell i would hope to work you up.
B_A_D: dude then why are you always going home with raven?
B_A_D: in highschool alaurea instigated most of our stuff
Panzer Pope: i dont know cause i know shes ok with it. i know shes intrested in me. i know you kinda are but again i dont want to push anything that may upset you, i dont know where i stand in that respect with you.
Panzer Pope: not when i was alone with you, i belive i started the istagating well on my own befor ever hanging out with her
Panzer Pope: i know that wassnt good for you or good memories and im sorry for that.
B_A_D: It's not that
B_A_D: It's just fucking hard to deal with
B_A_D: Like you having to get up and leave the room around alaurea or raven
B_A_D: or use all this restraint etc
Panzer Pope: trust me its not easy not to act on what i want to do when im around you. but at the same time i want to be as close to you as i can. for as long as i can. iv almost kissed you a million times. the only thing stoping me is the memories of hurting you. and making you cry cause of what i do.
Panzer Pope: my thing with them is i know they wont be harmed by it. so its quite hard to hold back.
B_A_D: So then what's the reason for there being nothing there when there would be no harm?
B_A_D: Even when I was cool and wanted it, things went no where, you went to them.
B_A_D: Showed up to nigel's door in a zip down dress, stalkings and heels after a 4 hour bus ride to see him. "hey." :walks off:
B_A_D: Try to talk sexy to callan, it's something about hand holding.
B_A_D: message zac and it's somehting about amber.
B_A_D: I can't win
Panzer Pope: give me a chance you can win. you have no idea how much i think about you. and i wont be going to anyone elce.
B_A_D: dude 3 times....
Panzer Pope: yeah i know
B_A_D: It's not your fault, I'm just not the person who gets that kind of response.
Panzer Pope: no you should be. im just the fucking idiot who decided to wonder around when what i was looking for wa always there
B_A_D: you can't fake attraction or desire
B_A_D: you can grow to love someone over time, but you can't learn to desire them.
Panzer Pope: i havent lerned to desire you. i have always desired you deeply. what iv lerned is the emotional connection, and what that means to me. the desire is still there everyday its there.
B_A_D: When have you ever expressed desire/
Panzer Pope: im preety sure it was preety evadent back in school. and via txts while we were dateing. i want to now, i want to throw you onto your bed and rip your close off and make you cum. but at this point im afaide even if i kissed you you would push me away. and it would make another gap between us. so the most iv managed to do was hold your hand.
B_A_D: but you wedge a giant gap between us with alaurea/raven
B_A_D: and alarger gape still between you and alaurea with raven.
B_A_D: you can't jut keep discounting the huge role attraction plays in this
Panzer Pope: no im not. i was attracted to them. but that dose not mean i was not attreacted to you as well
we were dateing. but ill throw something out there, some odd question in the moment. and i use that to gague you. as i said i dont know where i stant so i cant just act
Panzer Pope: god knows im overthinking it but id rather over think this than end up with noting. but truse me iv wanted to more than you now.
Panzer Pope: know
B_A_D: ?
Panzer Pope: in other words iv wanted to act on my desires with you, but i get syked out thinking ill hurt you, or that ill be pushed away.
Panzer Pope: i tell myself i shoulden't do this cause of what iv done in the past. that i dont deserve to be with you. but i still want to be there


" *rubs softly and smooches* jebus woman, you are sexy. the Things I would do if you were local :p"

"*kisses cheek gently*"

"*presses eagerly against you, closing my mouth against you and suckling softly, runningmy tongue up and down to brush against you in quick little passes*"

Monday, January 17, 2011

rare smile these days

"That, and I can help sate your libido for at least a little while til my fragile bones break, that just comes with being a good host and all that."